Finding Krishna in Detroit 1969

                  Finding Krishna in Detroit 1969

                                                 from Mahananda dasa

ALACHUA, FLORIDA — Hare Krsna. Please accept my humble obeisances. Twenty years ago I started to write about my coming to Krsna consciousness in 1969. I don't generally like to write about myself, but if it will help others who might relate to the experience, then I will take the chance. Please forgive me for this indulgence.

Of course, some may also relish hearing something more about my beloved wife Hladini, whom many knew and loved, and who gave her life in Krsna's service in Liberia, Africa back in 1990. I will dedicate this effort to share our experience in her memory.

In 1969, before meeting the devotees, I was living in Detroit with my young wife Linda (later to be initiated with me as Hladini dd). At that time our lives were full of miseries and I had taken up the practice of reading different books of Zen, Taoism, and Eastern religion, in the hopes that somehow I would find some answers to my many questions. Most of the books didn't seem to help much. Then in a bookstore I found this paperback book about Krishna called The Wisdom of God.

I had never before in my life heard of Krsna or Hare Krsna nor had I ever seen a Krsna devotee, probably, because there weren't too many temples then--about 11 only.

Anyway, this book turned out to be about Krsna and was the 12 cantos of the Srimad Bhagavatam, condensed. While Linda slept, I read from this book with rapt attention every night and one night I read that one must surrender to Krsna to be happy or to find peace, or whatever.                                                            

Somehow, this stuck in my mind. At this particular time in my life, I was really suffering mentally -- all the drugs and dysfunctional turmoil in my life. I was crying and practically crawling the walls late at night because of extreme anxiety and distress in my life. Though I had a young and beautiful wife, a job and plenty of friends, I was extremely miserable.

This one particular night the pain and distress became so unbearable and I was completely at the "end on my rope." My life was a huge mess and failure and I had nowhere to turn. I knew something was over for me and I couldn't go on like this another moment.

                                                                                                                   

Just when I though I was about to fall down forever into a deep dark hole, I remembered those words that I had read in that book and I prayed with all my heart for Krsna to take me. I thought "Krsna take me, I surrender, whatever that means, I'm yours. I cant go on."

I soon fell asleep for the night and the next day I went downtown with Linda to work for Monkey Boutique, making leather sandals in a street fair on a main street in Detroit.

I probably had forgotten about the night before but apparently Krsna had not. Suddenly, I heard the name of Krsna being sung by Bhagavan das and his wife, coming down the street. He had on jeans, no shirt, held a guitar, and still had long hair because he was in Medical school at Wayne State University (besides having a Krsna program at his house).

This sound went straight to my soul, and my heart was immediately aroused. Bhagavan das's wife pushed her stroller over in my direction and handed me an invitation to come to their apartment and find out more about this wonderful chanting of Hare Krishna.

The next day I went to their apartment/temple right after work and was peeking in the window when Sadanandini came out and dragged me inside. They sat me down and gave me some wonderful food and stuck the newly published blue Macmillan Bhagavad-Gita in my hand.

Everything seemed perfect. The philosophy was exhilarating. The people seemed like family, and the food--wow! I felt like I was home. They also realized that I belonged there, without a doubt, and told me to go home and get my stuff and come back and live forever at the lotus feet of Krsna.

Home I went to try to tell Linda that I was going to change my life drastically. I informed her that I was going on Friday to live with these new people that I had found, and I hoped that she would agree .  Of course I wasnt going anywhere without Linda, the absolute love of my life,but my life had changed. It was crazy,until that week I had never heard of Krsna and here I was planning to give up everything and go live with them.

But I had no choice. There would never be anything for me in the world and besides, I had been at the brink of annihilation just a few nights before, and somehow, Krsna had actually saved me.

Somehow or other I persuaded her to go (or dragged her). But she agreed. So we crammed everything we could in the back of a U-Haul trailer and off we went down John Lodge Freeway, leaving everything else behind. Linda Lee had not even been to the temple yet or ever met any devotees or had ever heard of Krsna before a few days ago  from me. But still she was going with me.

So there we were, 50 miles an hour, rushing towards our destiny. Suddenly, the back doors of the trailer flew open and everything we owned went flying out, distributed along two miles of expressway--beds, clothing, wedding albums, fishing rods, and everything. After that everything is a blank in my memory, but somehow we made it to the temple, and laid our lives in sacrifice at the feet of Srila Prabhupada.

So there we were on Forest Ave in Detroit. The first thing that happened to us was that we were able to stop all drinking, smoking and drugs-- instantly!! Somehow we were released from the bondage. Of course, twice the first week I had to go out on the back porch and have one last embrace with my dear old friend, Marlboro, before we parted company for good.

There were three bedrooms in the house with big beds in them and we were given one, while Bhagavan das and Jagadisa lived in the other two with their wives, Krishna Bhamani dd and Laxmimoniji.

I was dead serious about leaving my carnal life behind and giving my entire life to devotional service. Every day I would renew my determination to surrender fully, and every day I would experience the presence of a well-wishing, supernatural force helping me.

Each time I would pray fervently to be engaged more in devotional activities, Krsna would act in such a way as to reveal Himself more and more and I would be convinced again that He was there behind the scenes helping me.

                                               

Every day Hladini (her new name she got a few months later!) and I would go out on the streets of downtown Detroit and for 6 hours or more, march in double lines past Macy's and Nathan's Hot Dogs, singing our hearts out with the single hope of helping to inject that sound into the hearts of all the suffering people that surrounded us.

Sometimes we would go a few hours in the morning then back to the temple for lunch then out again for the entire afternoon of marching and singing. Hladini and others would walk along and offer the Back to Godhead magazines for 25 cents only. That would be the most you could usually get in 1969, but back then we were so humble and grateful to be able to do this service that it seemed like enough.

I remember one day Bhagavan, Hladini, and I, and practically the entire temple--maybe 15 of us--went out for the whole day and chanted and tried to collect lots of money because we needed to buy groceries for the Sunday feast.

When we got back to the temple we had this huge (?) bag with all of our collections for the entire day in it. When we counted it the grand total was $35. We were in bliss. Krsna had really blessed us! People who are relatively new to the movement will find this particularly amusing ... because nowadays I understand there are super-refined collectors who are quite capable of getting people all day to donate money and then come back to the temples with hundreds of dollars in one day.

I have never learned how to do this myself and actually in 40 years, I have never even "done" an airport. In the early days of the Krsna Consciousness movement, while Prabhupada was still here, my dear Hladini and I were so young and grateful to Krsna for our new lives that we approached people with a straw in our teeth and very humbly asked them could they please give a small donation to help increase our movement.

We were so happy then. Each and every time you saw another devotee you were flat on the ground offering your obeisances and then you jumped up and hugged your godbrother whom you truly loved. Also in the early days you were always chanting 24 hours a day practically. If you were not doing something else that required you to talk about your service or some verse in the Bhagavad Gita or some pastime about Krsna that you had just read, you were chanting like a madman.

Your eyes were closed tight and you had your finger of your other hand in your ear so that you could hear your own voice better (try in, it works). If you were standing in the prasadam line waiting, you never talked about who married who, or whatever--you chanted. You knew that Maya was waiting very attentively for you to let your guard down for a moment and as soon as you were slack, she would rush in and fill in the void that was left when you stopped chanting and began to fill your mind with all kinds of disturbances that were due to your very recently having left a life of only material activities.

You knew that Krsna was like a light and Maya was like darkness. As soon as the light of Krsna was turned off (you stopped chanting) then the darkness rushed in. Try it tonight. Go in the bathroom and turn on the light and then turn it off again and watch how quickly darkness will rush in. It was the same with Krsna and Maya. So you kept chanting.

                                                                                                       

Also, there was reading. I was particularly attached to reading Srila Prabhupada's books. I was so hungry for real knowledge, that every day I would hide somewhere or sneak off to the park so that I could read for hours. Then at night, Bhagavan and I would fight about the philosophy. So many doubts would come up in my mind and I would use poor Bhagavan to challenge the philosophy when those doubts would arise.                                                                             

                                                                                                             

I was thankful that he was such a qualified devotee and had a will and determination like iron, so that he would each time dispel my doubts and each time I would dive back into devotional service with renewed determination.

Hladini devi dasi and Lord Jagganatha

Usually after our debate and while everyone slept, he and I would still have many rounds to chant so that we would have to walk up and down the hallway softly chanting-- sometimes for an hour or two or more--until all of our rounds were completed.

So, Hladini and I passed our days in Detroit going out every day chanting, and asking people to please join in with us. If they couldn't join us, we would explain how they could chant at home......." Put aside a small amount of time each day (better if it's at the same time each day) where you can be alone and sit down with the sole determination to just chant and listen. You don't have to think about anything or adjust your mind in any way."

"The potency is just in the hearing," we would tell them...."The better you hear attentively, the better the effect will be. Just listen to each sound and syllable and when your mind wanders to other things (trust me on this one--it will) just gently bring your focus back to the sound. Maybe a half hour each day to start and be determined to repeat the process the next day and practice bringing your attention back and focusing on the sound."

"I promise you, after a week's time you will experience a result. The effect that you will experience will be that you will notice that your consciousness has risen higher--above things. Your perspective will change because your consciousness has been elevated to where you will see things differently --from a more purified perspective."

Also, if they were a little pious and advanced spiritually, we would tell them more..."Chanting Hare Krsna does not work because it relaxes the mind, or something similar. It works because Krsna, being absolute, is in His Name. When you hear His Name you actually experience contact with His presence, though imperceptible at this stage, all of which has a purifying effect on your consciousness."

"A little faith might be required to start the process but if a person is sincere and practices as I have described then the results will be there. Next week you will be saying "Wow, it does work" Go on, what have you got to loose.........."

So, Hladini and I passed our days preaching like that. I was so blessed to have such a pure soul as my wife. There is no fault that I could ever find in her. I never heard her once criticize another, nor complain about anything. She also had no idea how beautiful, both inside and out, she was. Her humility was only exceeded by her compassion for others.

Bhagavan dasa and I (with sign) on the streets of Detroit in 1969

           

Of course, now many remember her as such a great soul, and I don't have to go into much detail.

Gradually our ranks grew as we were all compelled by Bhagavan's determination and exceptional leadership to go out day after day and chant the Holy Name. Many new devotees joined us at this time, at a rate that was probably unique for ISKCON temples. Anyone who was around in those days knew that Detroit was a strong force in bringing others to devotional service.

I have to give some of the credit for our success, I suppose, to Bhagavan's expert abilities, but really, as I look back, I understand it was Krsna's mercy to us because we were so willing to surrender completely to trying to please His pure devotee. Also, the devotees back then were so sincere to help the suffering souls who had never experienced the nectar of devotion.

(to be continued)